THE PINK STAIRS
A Regression of Feminism? Trad Wives and The Importance of Intersectionality
3
8
0
Denim aprons, the clatter of pots and pans, and fresh detergent are characteristics of the kitchen—where women were largely limited to before the 20th century. However, since the feminist movement’s inception, women continue to push gender barriers and seek jobs and opportunities previously reserved for men. However, recent Tiktoks hearkening back to a rustic lifestyle and a return to traditional gender roles threaten to justify discrimination against women, foster financial dependence and exclude the various perspectives of women of different backgrounds. In a world where issues fall one upon the other, it is hard to ignore and define something using just one word. Perhaps in the 1900s the word ‘feminism’ was used to discuss equality for women of all races, classes, and age, but, now, as the world continues to evolve, it’s hard to disregard the extended privilege that some women have over others.
Trad wives- an Overview
Coined as “one of social media’s growing trends,” trad wives (or traditional wives) demonstrate just how privileged some may be in comparison to others. Females on TikTok are embracing traditional values, pushing domesticity and traditional gender roles where the man provides for the family and the woman serves as a housewife. “Trad wives” are often Christian and advocate for a submission to their husbands and that their happiness is contingent upon their husbands.
Why is This Problematic?
Justifies Discrimination against Women
This emphasis on traditional gender norms, specifically, women’s subservient role is problematic because it prompts people to justify inequalities against women and erodes the hard-fought progress of the feminist movement. The emphasis on women’s subservient role is demonstrated when in 1905, a Supreme Court judge in New Brunswick reflecting on the role of women in society explained that “the paramount destiny and mission of women are to fulfil the noble and benign offices of wife and mother. This is the law of the Creator.” As a result, in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, women’s legal identities were subsumed under their husbands because they were not allowed to own property, could not vote or hold office, were denied custodial rights over children and were socially confined to becoming caretakers and housewives. There is nothing wrong with being a housewife; however, the problem stems from the lack of choice, independence, and disrespect that women were subjected to. Likewise in modern day, women still face domestic abuse from their husbands because they are expected to obey them and be submissive. In the Solomon Islands, 49% of respondents agreed a good wife should obey her husband even if he is wrong. This contributes to an alarming rate of gender-based violence as 64% of women have reported domestic abuse from their intimate partners. As a result, the unjust treatment of women historically and the rise of domestic violence currently show the problems perpetuated by the emphasis on traditional gender roles and women’s subservience to men.
Feelings of being trapped
The promotion of the “trad wife” lifestyle, specifically becoming a housewife while the husband is the sole breadwinner in the household is problematic because it severely limits the financial independence of women which may potentially result in being trapped in an abusive relationship due to reliance on their husbands. According to a survey by Glamour, ⅓ women have stayed in a relationship because they didn’t have the money to leave. This highlights how financial reliance on their husbands can prompt women to feel trapped in abusive relationships.
Exclusive of different social backgrounds
When considering what it means to be a woman in the 21st century, it is usually the White women’s perspective that is sought out. ‘Girlhood’ on both TikTok and Pinterest is found celebrating and promoting the White women’s views on life. However, while recognizing that, yes, there are women of colour sprinkled within those photos, what does the term ‘girlhood’ or even ‘feminism’ truly encompass?
Girlhood is meant to be unique.
It’s not something meant to be defined in an aesthetic showcase of pictures. Not one person can write a book, a song, a poem that encompasses the universal experience of girlhood. u/pistolthrowaway18 on Reddit writes, “Taylor [Swift’s] girlhood is not the same as mine. [...] Taylor felt the first flush of young love much sooner than many women of color. To have a crush as a black woman, as Taylor did in the song Fifteen, comes with a unique fear of rejection. To be rejected or never considered for intimacy and love because of the color of your skin is something that Taylor has no concept of and it would not be fair to expect it of her.”
There is no one girlhood that is defined by frilly pink ribbons, picnics on the beach with friends, and doing your makeup together before a school dance. Our experiences as girls range so wildly, not only through race, but through other marginalizations. To say that the definition of girlhood is what you see on Pinterest or on Tiktok is to ignore others’ perspectives. However, it is as Delia Cai on Vanity Fair writes: “It’s this specific idea of girlhood that we are currently consumed by, everywhere we see: exuberant and hyperfeminine, playful and innocent—and therefore, almost always white.”
In a time where women are dominating their respective fields, it becomes increasingly difficult to categorize women, as an entire sex, as just that: women (and in the stereotypical way — complicated and needy). Being a D1 athlete and a girly girl are not mutually exclusive. Being in STEM and selling art as a hobby are not mutually exclusive. So, in this ever changing society, there will be no ‘equal world for all women’ until we recognize the differences and privileges between all women.
Intersectional feminism lens
Intersectional feminism, coined by Kimberlé Crenshaw, describes how everyone experiences discrimination differently since social identities such as gender, race, caste, and sexuality often overlap, intensifying some experiences of discrimination over others. For instance, in 2020 in the US, women earned just 83 cents for every $1 earned by men in 2020. However, this statistic only encompasses White women and neglect the varying economic realities of women of colour. In 2020, Black women were paid 64% and Hispanic women 57% of what white non-Hispanic men were paid as indicated by the U.S. Department of Labor. In addition, a report called Invisible Realities states that compared to 35% of heterosexual women, 44% of lesbian women experience intimate partner violence. Women and girls with disabilities are 2 to 4 times more prone to experience domestic violence than women without disabilities. This illuminates how even under the umbrella of being a “woman,” people face discrimination differently and one cannot subscribe to one perspective of feminism and what it means to be a woman.
By viewing feminism through an intersectional lens, the movement encompasses everyone and succeeds at its inherent purpose—to rally the voices of all women.
Citations:
https://www.womankind.org.uk/intersectionality-101-what-is-it-and-why-is-it-important/
https://www.oxfam.org/en/ten-harmful-beliefs-perpetuate-violence-against-women-and-girls
https://time.com/6588974/money-marriage-trap-lyz-lenz-essay/
Related Posts
